


of love and silence

by EdwardNotSoLittle



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Gore, F/M, Friendship, Healing, I also moved James into the school :), Mute Louis, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Torture, Tragic Romance, Traumatized Louis, louis centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdwardNotSoLittle/pseuds/EdwardNotSoLittle
Summary: In the aftermath of his capture by the Delta, Louis is left a very broken man. Now that their safety has been secured it's up to Clementine to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Aasim/Ruby (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine & Louis (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine/Louis (Walking Dead: Done Running)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I did the absolute SHAME ON YOU path and romanced Louis then saved Violet because it looked like she was in more immediate danger and i didn't know what was in store for our baby boy. Thus created a tragic love story that I cannot let go of and both hate myself for but HAD to see more of. So I decided to write a God damn mess that has been making me look like a torturous monster. 
> 
> The first few chapters will have various repeat themes of Louis torture, the kids' escape, and the difficult healing process for Louis and Clem during their recoveries all from the kid's different Povs. 
> 
> Also disturbing violent and or torture themed dreams or flashbacks may occur throughout this story. 
> 
> I am currently replaying the entire Telltale series and have never written for it before. Its been a long time since I've written for The Walking Dead fandom as well so please be nice.

After they had gotten back to the school things were tough. She was in and out of consciousness most of the time as she recovered from her amputated leg, but she did remember seeing Louis in the room frequently. His eyes were filled with worry for her as he watched Ruby flit about.

She also remembered occasionally seeing him sitting on the bed opposite of her with Ruby standing in front of him, she had a flashlight and was tilting his head up to try to check his own healing process. He still had a way to go yet. The damage to his mouth had been substantial, the cut hadn't been a simple slice and had left frayed edges that were necrotic, blackening and falling off. The entire time she touched his mouth he trembled and whimpered and Ruby would whisper gentle reassurances.

Eating had been another hardship at first. He'd lost five pounds that first week because it was too painful to eat Omar's usual stuff. He'd cry as he tried to gulp it down and Ruby had to keep trying to coax him each time, they only managed a forth of the bowls each time before he was a sobbing mess and refusing to eat anymore. 

Then Ruby read in a book about trying plain broths, something smoother without texture for now while his tongue was healing. That sounded like it went better. 

As for the necrotic tissue and the fever he developed later, they could only do so much for his infection. They only had so much penicillin and in the instance her leg was to get infected.

Now that a couple weeks have passed, she was finally strong enough to remain conscious and she was antsy to get out of the room. 

When she'd asked how Lou was doing, Ruby had been pleased to reveal that his infection had cleared and there were only a couple spots still scabbed over, the other bits had healed. Though, her happiness had disappeared when she explained that he was still suffering from severe bouts of trauma. 

The other day while Louis was helping Ruby with some herbs for Omar's supper preparations, Aasim came and sat next to them and began to gut a fish that AJ had caught. Louis saw the knife and went into an incomprehensible slur of panicked cries and whimpers and ran inside to lock himself in his room. It had left the group baffled, and it wasn't until another similar situation happened at dinner where Louis had actually almost knocked the whole table over in his desperate flailing to get free of the picnic table bench at the sight of a blade that Omar pieced it together.

The two had witnessed the horrific attack that had left Louis without his speech and it was brutal. Aasim immediately agreed that something was up and brought it to Ruby's attention. 

It was still also a real struggle to get food in him, it had to be the right temperature or else it would burn his wounds, even the small ones hurt like hell, too cold and the flesh would be far too sensitive. He was very temperature sensitive, even now with the wounds healing. Omar and Ruby also had to make sure Louis' rations weren't going to be hard for him to get down. 

Then of course his nightmares were enough to wake half the people on the floor. He'd cry and scream and then once he was awake the only thing he could do to calm himself down was go play piano. 

Ruby tearfully admitted he'd made progress of course, but with how traumatizing the whole ordeal had been for him, she worried.

Clem couldn't blame her; she was worried too.

There was a knock on her door before it creaked open. Rosie came barreling in and Violet poked her head in the door, before stepping in.

"Clem, I'd heard you were awake." She smiled that shy smile of hers.

"It's good to see you, Vi." 

Violet came in and sat on AJ's bed. She couldn't help but eye her missing leg for a split second.

"How do you feel?"

Clem offered her a reassuring smile "Still a little sore, but mostly tired," Violet flinched at the words so she decided a different approach, "Tired of being in this room, I mean. I want to go outside."

The other teen gave her a sympathetic nod, "I bet, but at least you're alive. That's the important part." 

"It is." Clem agreed before letting her mind drift elsewhere. "How's AJ?" 

Violet smiled at that, "He's been getting spearfishing lessons from Aasim. He's gotten quite good and he loves it. I'm sure he'll be in to see you later." 

"Are things looking alright today, Vi? Everyone else okay?" 

Violet leaned back on her hands, studying her for a moment, Clementine wasn't sure if she liked the look or not. 

"Nothing to report on the perimeter. There were a couple walkers that needed to be dealt with. Willy came up with some new defenses for the school that me and him have to go over. Omar's the same as usual I think and Ruby is working on the greenhouse." 

Of course she was overjoyed to hear that everyone else was doing okay, she couldn't help but notice that Vi had either forgotten or decided not to comment on Louis.

_Oh no! Did something happen?_

She bit her bot lip nervously, "And Louis?" 

Violet's expression fell.

"He's… had a bad day." 

Clementine looked at her with concern reading in her eyes. 

"I found Tenn's pencils, and I managed to find one of those pocket-sized notepads. I gave them to him today so we can try to communicate with him better and just he became inconsolable, just fucking sobbing. He threw them down and locked himself in his room."

"No one has seen him all day?" Clem asked uneasily.

Violet shook her head sadly, "He didn't even let Ruby check on his… injuries this afternoon… or for food."

Clementine pointed to the crutches on the far side of the room. "Let me talk to him."

The other girl's eyes widened in surprise at that, "Um, no. Ruby will have my fucking ass."

"Well, it's either you grab those crutches for me or I crawl to them myself."

Violet let out an irritated huff but nodded and fetched the wooden supports from where they leaned on the wall. 

* * *

"You fucking piece shit! Are you listening to me!?" Louis screamed, banging on the bars of his cell as the click of heeled combat boots made their way down the hall away from them. 

The guard, the big black chick, what was her name? Dorian? She let out an irritated sneer. 

"Louis! Shut the fuck up! You're going to piss them off." Aasim hissed at him from the cell across from him.

"I don't give a shit! They can't do this to us! Let me out you motherfuckers! This is kidnapping! Like literal kidnapping!" 

Dorian approached his cell and pulled out a knife. 

"Ey, don't waste your breath. Sit down and shut up."

Louis slammed on the cell door challengingly, "You, won't get away with this. Clementine will stop you!"

Footsteps sounded and soon Lilly was standing in front of his cell with a scowl on her face, Minnie behind her. 

"Let us go! Or you'll fucking regret it!"

"Louis shut up!" That was Omar this time.

"You are testing my patience. Be quiet, this is your last warning." Lilly snarled.

He knew it probably wasn't smart, but he did it anyways. He spat at her and it landed right on her face. 

All at once the psycho bitch's face morphed into something sinister and she pulled a small curved blade off her belt and handed it to Dorian.

"Dorian." 

Something in her voice told him he'd really done it and he took a couple steps back away towards the wall. 

"Louis! God dammit no!" Aasim yelled to him.

Dorian shut the door behind her as she entered. The tall woman stepped forward and tried to grab him, but he darted out of her reach.

"Get away from me! You motherfuckers!" He yelled and tried to break for the door but Minnie slammed the door open and into his face stunning him.

He fell sprawled on his back upon the floor, Minnie ran into the cell, the door clanging shut behind her. A weight was suddenly crushing into his chest when she slammed on top of him and he fought with her as she tried to hold him down for whatever they were planning.

"No! Get off me Minnie! What are you going to do to me!?"

His head was slammed into the floor, the blow left him reeling while Dorian took a moment to sharpen the knife before ordering Minnie to move down to hold his legs. She straddled his chest while he wiggled and squirmed beneath the adult pinning him down. 

How could she act like this? They were friends!? They used to be friends!

Tears of frustration welled in his eyes and he let out an aggravated yell as he strained against them. A cold hand was gripping his chin and it was what he was ordered next that sent him in a full-blown panic.

"Open your mouth." 

He took one look at the knife being held dangerously close to his face.

It clicked.

_Oh fuck!!!!_

Terrified beyond belief, he thrashed and flailed. He even tried to bite Dorian's fingers –succeeding once and getting slapped for it– as she pried his jaw open.

He could taste dirt, blood, and God knows what else on his tongue as her fingers snagged hold of it, pulling it out of his mouth and taut. He shrieked and she lined up the knife and then… pain lit up like a firecracker in his mouth, it sparked to his brain all the way down his spine and tears of agony trickled down his face as he screamed.

Blood was filling his throat, gushing from the wound, and she pulled on his hair to force him to tilt his head back, moving the blood to the back of his throat. He couldn't swallow quickly enough with the strain on his neck. It felt like he was drowning in his own blood as gurgles and coughs and sputters sent flecks of blood droplets flying into the air. Blood was gushing over his lips and down his chin and neck, soaking his clothes. 

Dorian pulled her hand back and dangled his severed tongue in front of his face, it was still wriggling between her fingers. Horrified, he screamed and screamed, tears poured down his face and lingered with the blood and drool as he choked on the crimson liquid. 

"Are you going to behave?" Lilly asked through the bars as he was on the verge of unconsciousness from oxygen depletion. 

Wheezing for air, sending more blood down his tubes he nodded and she motioned for the other two women to get off of him. The three said nothing, just left, slamming and locking the door behind them.

He rolled onto his side and began to expel a seemingly never ending fountain of blood, one round after another until he was laying amongst a huge puddle of blood and bile. He stared at his tongue which was laying on the ground beside him and hot tears flooded from his eyes ten fold. 

"Louis!" Omar shouted to him.

Reeling from the pain in his jaw, he tried to rise to his hands and knees so he could get to his feet and let them know he was okay, but as soon as he started to stand a wave of dizziness overtook him and he fell back on his ass. He vomited up more of the blood he had swallowed.

"Louis! You need to fucking say something!" 

Flinching at the horrific pain the simple action of opening his mouth caused him, Louis tried to shout to them. It hurt. Blood came rushing as well as a loud gurgling sounds that was followed by incomprehensible noises.

Panicked by the noises themselves he scooted back against the far wall with a whimper, eyes wide as he stared at the severed flesh on the floor. 

\---

The lock was pulled and Aasim and Violet were coming into the cell. He looked up at them wearily, he was tired and cold. He honestly just wanted to sleep. 

"Louis… Louis, you have to wake up, we gotta go." 

He moaned and turned his head away.

_Leave? I can't leave! What if that fucking bitch sees me!?_

"He's shaking. They did a number on him." Omar mumbled, limping forward.

"Shit. Is all that blood his?" Aasim's voice barely reached his ears.

Had he bled that much?

"Enough, we need to get him out of here. Come on." Violet said reaching down to hoist him up, Aasim did the same with his other side. 

They pulled him to his feet and tried to tug him towards the door and he panicked.

_No! No! If she finds out!!_

He pulled against them and shook his head pleadingly, tears gathered in his eyes as he tried to put the brakes on his heels. 

"Nuugh! Uhhgh uhh! Nuu!" His mouth hurt so bad and his voice sounded so horrifying to him he just wanted to curl up and cry. 

They paused and Violet's eye ticked in irritation, "This place is gonna blow! We need to leave!" 

He covered his ears with his hands, the shouting only making the ever increasing anxiety and paralyzing fear worse.

It was Aasim tugging gently on his arm that caught his attention, "Louis, come on, man. Let's get the fuck out of here and go home."

_Home?_

He blinked, looking around the area, he could hear the gunfire of the Delta raiders fighting with the walkers, but the halls looked clear. 

_Home?_

He imagined himself back home, playing the piano with Clementine by his side. Fishing. Maybe even asking Clem to help him learn to shoot a bow better. 

Feeling fatigued all the sudden, whether from blood loss or lack of sleep he didn't know, but he slowly stepped over the threshold with Aasim, a trembling hand held to his chest as they slowly coaxed him one step at a time. 

They were just getting up on deck when the boat groaned and creaked…

* * *

Louis bolted upright in bed a gurgled scream flying from his throat as the dream, more so a memory… _that_ memory and this time all too real, startled him from his unexpected afternoon nap. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he didn't recognize where he was. He looked up at the drawing Tenn once gave him and let out a garbled panicked wail upon seeing Lilly staring back at him.

Bolting out of bed, he didn't even grab his coat, just ran for the door, breaths coming in panicked heaves. 

_She was here! She was going to kill him this time!_

* * *

As Violet and her made their way down the hall one step at a time, she found herself getting the hang of the crutches fairly quickly. She was already moving without Vi's help. 

They were halfway down the dorm to Louis' room when they both were able to pick up on a series of disturbing sounding screams of terror coming from said individual's room.

Both of them quickened their pace, Violet ran ahead and was about to start banging on the door when it flew open, nearly hitting her if she hadn't dived to the side. A blur bolted past her and Clementine could barely register Louis trying to dash down the corridor before he'd crashed right into her, knocking both him and her to the floor. She groaned as the larger teen landed on her. 

Her leg throbbed but it was nothing serious. Louis seemed in worse shape, his breathing was coming way to quick as he tried to untangle their limbs to scramble to his feet.

"Nuuugh! Off… mee-gh!" 

There were fresh tears on his face and his eyes were big, pupils dilated with adrenaline from what must have been a very bad dream.

He squirmed and struggled to free himself on clumsy trembling arms and legs, panicked gurgles and whimpers reverberated from his throat. He was just about to lift himself off of her and Clementine, desperate to prevent him from going anywhere, pushed the crutches away and wrapped her arms around him, enveloping him in a tight hug. 

"Louis." She called to him, trying to snap him out of his panic. 

She felt tears prickling at her own eyes at the sight of the boy she loved in such a state of breakdown. He continued to cry and squirm, pushing against her stomach and shoulders as he tried to get his feet under him, but she held tight. 

"Shh... Breathe, Louis, breathe… you had a nightmare. Shh, it's okay." 

His struggle weakened and gradually came to a halt at the sound of her voice.

Eventually he looked up at her, focusing through bloodshot eyes filled with tears. They flitted about his surroundings briefly before turning to her again. He tried to say her name even though they all knew he couldn't pronounce it anymore. It came out as a burbled jumble of improper pronunciations and odd noises. It made her heart throb painfully. 

"Yes." She smiled tearfully, pushing his dreads out of his face.

He began to cry again, burying his face into her shoulder as he slowly wrapped his arms around her to return the very much needed embrace. 

Violet came to help but Clem waved her off, wanting her to give them a moment. "I got him, Vi. Could you go check on AJ? I'll be here." 

Though the other girl was hesitant to leave both of her friends in such a vulnerable state, she did nod. "Yeah, sure." 

Instead of turning around though, the blonde teen leaned down and held something out to her while Louis was distracted with his face covered by her body. 

It was the small notepad and pencil. 

She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Just… take this. It.. it may help." 

Using one arm, Clementine discreetly slid the stationary into her pocket. 

After sharing a nod, Violet turned and made her way down the hallway before disappearing around the corner.

Louis tightened his grip on her and she did the same, shushing him gently as she stroked his back. "It's okay. You're safe."

They stayed like that for a little while until his sobs died to hiccups and then sniffles, and released her to try to pull away. She let him this time and he struggled to his feet. He bent down and picked up her crutches before pulling her to her feet again.

"I..m… I'm oo-ruh-y." He managed an apology as he held her shoulders so she could situate her crutches beneath her arms.

Devastated tears of defeat trickled down his freckled cheeks and it absolutely broke her heart. 

"Oh, Louis," She paused trying to think, "I think we could both use some music. Do you feel up for playing?" 

Thinking for a second, he nodded and they made their way to the music room. He helped her along when he noticed she struggled with some fatigue, concern shining beneath all devastation in those beautiful brown eyes.

Once they were in the music room, he ushered her to the piano bench before walking around to slide in beside her. 

They sat for a long time in silence until Clementine broke it.

"You look tired."

He nodded.

"Vi… told me you got mad at her." 

His eyes widened and glistened with tears as he shook his head, he waved an arm as if trying to explain and Clementine struggled greatly. She understood now why Violet offered him the notepad.

Hesitantly, she reached into her pocket and produced the same objects that had gotten Louis so worked up earlier. She placed them on top of the piano. 

Louis stared at them hateful, but there was also a despair shining in his eyes as the tears quickly spilled free once again. He shook his head desperately and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Uughnuuuh." He protested. 

"Louis, please? What about for me? Just for right now in this room. Tell me what's bothering you… you're hurting and I'm worried, everyone's worried." 

He stared at the stationary deep in thought before finally grabbing it with shaky hands. He took several moments to scribble something down and handed it back to her.

He had nice handwriting, she noticed.

_'I keep seeing her wherever I go. I can't sleep. It's the same nightmare over and over. When they carved out my tongue. I was trying to be strong but I should have just done what they told me. Even Aasim and Omar told me to be quiet. Minnie didn't care. She helped them fucking do that to me. We were friends.'_

She turned the page on the small booklet and set it down. 

"Louis, what Lily did to you was not your fault. She was a fucking monster. You were trying to be strong for the others, to be a good friend. You did nothing wrong… as for Minnie. She was no better. The Minnie you knew had been gone for a long time."

* * *

He listened, of course, but it was also difficult. Clem knew exactly what to say and some of it was things he didn't want to hear, or at least accept, not yet.

Louis took a moment to eye the carving in the piano surface. C+L and the heart around it. He recalled their first kiss and how he had felt. 

He didn’t blame her for what happened to him. Initially, he had felt betrayed, yes, but after what he went through he was glad she had saved Vi, who knows what those sick fucks would have done to her.

Violet was a fighter, she surely wouldn't have stopped. Fuck, they could have done much worse to her than cut out her tongue. Still, that psycho bitch. He'd never forget the hate and glee in her eyes as she did that to him. Or Minnie's impassive, careless stare.

That was one of the things that had made it hurt so much. 

A hand placed itself over his where it lay trembling on his knee, "You don't have to play if you don't want to. We can just sit." 

He shook his head and pointed at the carving.

Clem looked and a smile came to her face. "I remember that night." 

He smiled too at the memory. How could he forget, their first kiss? It had sent a tingle through his brain that went through his entire body, sent butterflies in his stomach, it was strange, but yet it felt so right all at once. 

It was weird. 

Fuck, what did she even see in a goof like him? 

His smile faded at that thought.

There'd be no more jokes… no more songs. God dammit he couldn't even verbally say I love you . 

Charades would be cute… for a while.

What would she want with him? She'd grow bored of him. What's more he was a burden. He wouldn't be able to call out if there were walkers or an enemy. He'd get them all killed.

Louis jumped when he felt Clem place a hand on the back of his neck. He watched with wide eyes as she slowly brought their faces close, close enough their lips brushed against each other. He hated himself for how he flinched violently and whimpered. 

He didn't like his mouth being touched anymore. Not after he'd been held down by two people -one of them someone he once considered a friend- and his mouth pried open so that his speech could be cruelly cut out of it. The pain had been excruciating and it was one he never wanted to feel again in his life. Sometimes, he still felt the blade slicing through flesh and muscle that was long gone.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to, but the fear of contact was overwhelming and he let out another soft noise. 

"Shh. It's okay." Clementine hushed delicately.

Gently, she pressed her lips to his and he went rigid at first, his grip on her shoulders tightened to the point he was afraid she may have small bruises but eventually his grip eased up and she saw the tension visibly leave his body. He leaned into the kiss and she used her thumb to wipe the tears from his face. 

When she pulled away he rested his forehead against hers. His shoulders hitched a couple times with some audible hiccups. He loved her. He did. Things were so different now and he had a feeling things were only going to get more difficult.

Lifting sad eyes up to her he offered a weak smile and pointed at himself then placed his finger on the lines of the heart etched around their initials, then pointed at her. 

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him again, "I love you the most." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE!!!
> 
> 1.) This is where we see both some more in depth insight as to what happened during Louis, Omar and Aasim's capture and the boat escape. If some of the dialog doesn't match up from the last chapter from Louis's dream don't be alarmed that was on purpose. Some of it was jumbled to him because he was so traumatized by the event that he didn't know what exactly was going on. 
> 
> 2.) This chapter goes in order of events. This takes place before the first chapter. Sort of just some insight. The first couple chapters will possibly be like this. I haven't made up my mind on that yet, but either 3 or 4 may get back to the immediate following from the ending of chapter 1. Think of chapter 1 as a prolog.

_ "Louis! God dammit no!" Aasim yelled, jerking at the bars as Dorian stepped into the cell with the younger boy.  _

_ Louis' eyes were big like he was confused that the women actually made good with their threat.  _

_ God dammit. That mouth of his was going to get him in trouble sooner or later. _

_ Dorian reached out to grab Louis but he made a break for the door. He and Omar watched, horrified as Minnie slammed the door into his face and joined the scuffle as he was stunned. _

_ The sight of Louis trying to fight both of them off was brutal, at one point he almost broke free and Minnie grabbed him by his dreads and slammed his head into the floor.  _

_ "Minnie stop please!" Omar tried.  _

_ That was when Dorian climbed on top of him and pried open his mouth. Louis bit her and she swore, slapping the younger teen so hard his eyes rolled and he gasped for breath. It gave her a moment and that was what she needed. _

_ He heard Louis' choked cry of 'no wait' before there was a piercing scream of agony.  _

_ Omar ducked back behind the cell wall too horrified by the sight before them.  _

**_Fuck fuck fuck!_ **

_ He grit his teeth, clawing at the bars as he watched his friend writhe beneath the two women.  _

_ Louis' feet tried to gain purchase but only managed to twitch pitifully as Minnie kept her hold on him. Screams of pain were quickly morphing into liquidy gargles with panicked whimpers mixed in, there was coughing and sputtering and God the sobbing.  _

_ Aasim didn't look away no matter how much he wanted to, but he did look at Lilly with hate in his eyes. He wanted to shout, to scream, to beg her to stop, but he already knew the sick motherfucking bitch wouldn't.  _

_ "You're a monster." He said, keeping his voice low so only she could hear.  _

_ She turned to him, that smug look plastered on her face.  _

_ "This is what happens to the ones who don't keep their mouths shut. He's got to learn that lesson before we bring you back to the Delta. We're doing him a favor." _

_ Aasim looked back at the cell, Louis' eyes were bulging as he struggled, red bubbled past his lips to form red streams. His neck made these little lurches as he struggled not to choke on his own blood.  _

_ When Dorian pulled her hands away, dangling Louis' severed tongue- still wriggling as if it didn't know it wasn't itself attached anymore- in front of the other boy's face like some sort of trophy, Aasim felt bile rise in his throat both at the sight and the cruelty. _

_ He watched Dorian tangle a hand into Louis' dreads, yanking his head back. Crimson had made her dark hands shimmer with a reddish hue that reflected the sick, thick red of blood as the light caught it. It dribbled down her wrists and dripped onto the wooden floor planks. _

_ Louis started choking on all the red that had filled up his mouth and Aasim could see his Adam's apple bobbing frantically as he tried to swallow some of it down to prevent drowning. Tears were streaking down his paling cheeks. _

_ "You're going to kill him! Please!" He finally caved into the hopelessness. _

_ Lilly hummed and looked at Dorian, who forced Louis' head in her direction. _

_ "Are you going to behave?" _

_ Dorian gave his head a good shake by his hair to snap him back to when he was on the verge of passing out from lack of air. He wheezed and gasped, Lilly repeated her question and he weakly nodded.  _

_ Satisfied, Lilly had the two women release him and exit the cell. They said nothing, they just left him like that. When Louis rolled, he was out of his view now, but he could hear him throwing up and then crying.  _

_ His heart broke for him.  _

_ Louis may be annoying at times, but he didn't deserve that. He was just trying to be strong for them.  _

_ "Louis," he called to the younger boy, his soft sobs ceased momentarily with a hiccup, "It's going to be okay. We're going to get out of here."  _

_ He hoped. He wasn't sure if they would or not. _

* * *

_ Omar couldn't believe what just happened. Those sick assholes just cut Louis' tongue off for talking. Why didn't they just tie him up and gag him or something? He was just a kid, they all were. _

_ The worst part of all of it was how hard he fought. There was a hole in the side of their cell, a small one but just big enough that he'd been able to see through the spaces of the poorly welded sheet metal. Despite wanting to hide his eyes away, it was like one of those old horror movies where you didn't want to watch but had to see what happened out of curiosity.  _

_ Plus, he didn't know if it'd be the last time he saw Louis.  _

_ Minerva. She used to be their friend but it was obvious as she wrestled with him, using her soldier's training and every dirty play in the book to keep Louis down that she didn't feel the same way. Then poor Louis, Omar knew him a little better than Aasim and he knew Louis was still probably hesitant to hurt her back. Her blue eyes had been so cold and when she slammed his head into the floor there was nothing but rage. _

_ Then even when Dorian came in to hold him down, he still fought, kicking and screaming and even biting. He had never seen him so terrified. It was horrible.  _

_ It was the noises that still had Omar rattled as he sat on the single bed in the cell with his leg propped up while him and Aasim both stared at the floor speechless as they listened to Louis cry softly in the cell across from them. _

_ Oh they had been awful, first they had been piercing screams as Dorian sawed through his tongue with that curved serrated blade, then they were drowned out as his mouth filled with blood, and soon coughing and sputtering. Blood was gushing from his mouth like a faucet and small bubbles burst to make more red streams and bloody his lips. Then came the wheezing and gasping and gurgling as he was choking on his own blood.  _

_ He shivered and shook his head trying to get the images and sounds out. _

_ Omar recalled what Lilly said about that being the punishment for the ones who can't keep their mouths shut. _

_ What kind of place does that? What kind of people kidnap children and force them to become soldiers? _

_ \--  _

_ He didn't know how much longer it was, it seemed like hours, but it was some time after Lou's sobs had slowly died to sniffles and he and Aasim could see him still but curled up in the corner through the gap in their cell, that those footsteps came down the hall.  _

_ Dorian emerged with a guy probably in his late forties, he had a first aid kit in his hand.  _

_ "We need him alive. You know the drill, if he misbehaves too much, call me in there."  _

_ Aasim bolted to his feet and gripped the bars. "What are you going to do?"  _

_ They ignored him and simply unlocked the cell door, Omar saw Louis bolt upright, suddenly wide awake, he pressed his back up against the wall and curled up tight, hugging his knees, and whimpering as the man stepped into the cell with him. _

**_Is this guy a doctor? Will he actually help him?_ ** _ Omar thought. _

_ "I'm going to check your wound. Be a good boy for me and this won't have to get nasty."  _

_ He could make out Louis' big teary eyes staring up at the man as he advanced on him and he could hear a garbled protest. _

_ "Do you want me to call Dorian in here?" _

_ Louis shook his head desperately with a panicked, garbled cry that sent blood gushing over his bottom lip and down his chin.  _

_ The man knelt down in front of him, obscuring his view as he set the med kit down on the floor. He pulled a small flashlight out and turned to their friend. _

_ "Tip your head up and open."  _

_ "Hey! Asshole! Leave him the fuck alone!" Aasim yelled through grit teeth.  _

_ "Aasim, shut up!" Omar warned, he didn't want the same thing that happened to Louis to happen to the other boy as well. _

_ "This was done with a serrated edged blade. Well, I can't stitch that up. Cauterize certainly… at the risk of infection."  _

_ Louis trembled, tears trickled down his cheeks as this 'doctor' prodded inside his mouth with a tongue depressor that was no longer needed, shining the flashlight as he inspected. _

_ "You must have really made Lilly mad for her to do this."  _

_ \-- _

_ When Aasim finally pulled Louis from his cell Omar's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. The poor guy was shaking uncontrollably and his eyes darted around like a spooked animal looking for an exit. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and tear tracks were etched into the dirt on his dirty face.  _

_ "Easy buddy. It's okay." Aasim shushed him, as he flinched to alertness when the boat made another creak from the waves shifting its old timbers. _

_ Idly, Omar wondered how old this boat really was but quickly snapped back to focus. _

_ Aasim and Louis had an interesting relationship. Most of the time, Aasim couldn't stand Louis due to his antics, so seeing him step up to the plate was rather reassuring that they were all going to be fine once this was over. _

_ Violet had moved to help him along as he limped forward, his wounded leg where he'd been shot was starting to get to him, but every now and then he looked over his shoulder, same as Vi, to see Aasim and Louis' progress. The older boy had to coax him forward as he trembled like a leaf.  _

_ "We'll be home soon." He heard him reassure and Louis gave an idle nod as he choked heavily on a distorted sob. _

* * *

_ As soon as Violet first saw Louis when she entered that cell with Aasim, her heart shattered. He looked so scared and broken, curled up as tight as he could in the corner behind the single bed.  _

_ His whole body was trembling with fright and he gurgled out a soft plea as soon as he heard the cell door clang shut.  _

_ "Easy, Lou. It's okay." She tried to reassure him but he only curled up tighter, burying his face in his knees and smearing blood from his chin onto his ripped jeans. Oh, fuck. What the hell have they done to you, Louis? _

_ He tucked his head so his cheek rested on his jeans, his eyes were open but heavy-lidded as if he'd been woken up.  _

**_With how much blood he's lost, he could have been out._ **

_ She crouched down in front of him and gently shook his shoulder. "Louis… Louis, you have to wake up, we gotta go." _

_ Their friend just blinked tiredly, groaned, and turned his head away. _

_ Omar limped into the cell behind them. "He's shaking. They did a number on him." _

_ "Shit. Is all that blood his?"  _

_ They could squabble later. Right now they had two problems. One, the ship was set to blow and two, Louis was not aware enough to make things easy. _

_ Then again, it never was simple with Louis. _

_ She reached down to hoist him up, motioning for Aasim to do the same. "Enough, we need to get him the fuck out of here. Come on." _

_ Aasim moved to help and with both touches on his arms Louis was suddenly very awake and very frightened. He shook his head softly and let out a soft mumble, eyes rapidly filling with tears. _

_ "Come on Lou, up, let's get up." She tried gently as she and Aasim managed to pull the taller boy to his feet. _

_ Immediately she felt the vibrations running through her hands and beside her as Lou's trembling increased as soon as he was standing.  _

_ "Uuoo…" he cried a little bit too loudly for her liking, his bloodshot eyes squeezing shut.  _

_ "Lou, shh!" Violet hissed trying to tug him towards the door too quickly. All at once he panicked and started to pull against them, digging the heels of his boots into the floorboards.  _

_ "Nuugh! Uhhgh uhh! Nuu!"  _

_ Violet let go of his arm and turned to him looking quite irritated. She knew she was being harsh but they had very little time. _

_ "Louis! This place is gonna blow! We need to leave!" _

_ Her scowl fell when she saw Louis cover his ears and cry softly, ducking his head as if she'd strike him. _

_ Shit, he was really fucked up.  _

_ "He's scared Violet he-" _

_ "We all are, Omar, but-" _

_ Surprisingly Aasim stepped forward. _

_ "Back off, Vi, you didn't fucking see what he they did to him. He's fucking traumatized. I know patience isn't your strong point with Louis, but we're not going anywhere with you shouting at him."  _

**He's right, what was I thinking?**

_ \-- _

_ The deck creaked and it wasn't long after that a shockwave pulsed throughout the ship. It floored them all and Violet grabbed onto Louis by his coat when he about fell over the railing.  _

_ Startled by the noise he went into a panic, teary red eyes dilated with adrenaline as he weakly flailed and tried to pull away from both her and Aasim. _

_ A guard who was picking himself off the ground looked in their direction when he let out a garbled moan, he fired his assault rifle inches above the crate they were ducked behind as fiery timbers fell around him.  _

_ "Shh… shh. Louis, be quiet." She pleaded desperately as the Delta raider studied their hiding place for a moment.  _

_ Escaping had proven to be more difficult with Louis in such a state. Her traumatized friend was jumpy, on high alert, and easily sent into a panic by loud abrupt noises. Sometimes uncooperative and needing to be coaxed into continuing forward. He tried to fucking run from them when he saw Dorian sniping some walkers off the side of the deck. _

_ "I know you're there. You can't hide from me." the man's gruff voice addressed them. _

_ Violet noticed a dead raider that had been mauled and a pistol beside her lifelessly staring corpse.  _

_ "Aasim." She whispered. _

_ The other boy looked at her and she gestured to the gun, the two of them sharing a look before he reached for it. He was the closest.  _

_ Louis was fidgeting restlessly beside her, fighting with the urge to get up and run and Violet was doing her best to ground him with a firm grip on his bicep. _

_ Once Aasim had the gun in his hands, he took a breath before ducking out of cover and firing. There was a cry of pain followed by profuse swearing. Aasim ducked behind cover again and there was more gunfire.  _

_ "You little bastard!"  _

_ Louis spooked when a bullet pierced the wooden deck just inches away from his hand, he threw his arm back hitting her in the side, scrambling forward out of cover when she was forced to let go.  _

_ "Louis!" she cried, diving forward and tackling him to the ground just before bullets went whizzing past his head. _

_ There was a horrible grating sound and all four teens looked up to see a beam falling to the deck, it landed right on top of their attacker and Violet looked at the three of them desperately. _

_ "Guys the ship is falling apart! We have to jump!"  _

_ Aasim looked at her incredulous, "Are you fucking insane! You saw how much blood Louis lost and Omar can't swim with that leg!"  _

_ Louis did not seem to like the idea of swimming ashore. He shook his head pleadingly as he tried to protest through garbled, strangled cries. _

_ "She's right." Another voice sounded.  _

_ The small group turned to see James and Tenn standing there. _

_ "What are you guys doing here?" Violet asked, she knew them being on the boat was not part of the plan.  _

_ James ignored the question instead he continued, "Explosion will bring more walkers. We need to jump. Swim to shore."  _

_ There was another bang and the whole boat groaned and shook, there was another blast and they were thrown to the floor.  _

_ "Screw it!" Omar shouted, getting to his feet and running to the rail, he didn't hesitate as he climbed over and jumped.  _

_ "Fuck!" Aasim cried, he quickly followed his friend wanting to make sure he wouldn't drown with his wounded leg. _

_ Violet looked at Louis who simply stared at her like she'd grown two heads. His bloodshot eyes were big and looked very much like a kicked puppy as he shook his head moaning and whimpering pathetically.  _

_ "Lou, you need to jump." _

_ Again he shook his head.  _

_ The ship roared and shook with another blast and Violet made up her mind. She hated herself for what she was about to do.  _

_ While Louis turned his head to stare wide-eyed as Tenn got on the rail to jump with James' reassurance, Violet lurched forward and shoved his chest as hard as she could. His back hit the rail and he lost his balance, falling overboard and landing with a splash.  _

_ She didn't hesitate, she jumped. _

* * *

_ As he helped Omar along the shore, Aasim's blood went cold as he saw two figures on the beach. One of them, the smaller one, lying prone on the ground, the other crouched over them with their hands on the other's chest.  _

_ The bronze coat. _

**_Fuck! Louis!_ **

_ It was James pressing on Louis' chest, every now and then leaning down to tilt his bloodied chin up to breathe into his mouth before going back at it. _

_ "Oh shit!" Omar cried, trying to hurry his pace. _

_ Once they made it over James didn't look up, simply kept working.  _

_ "Got caught up on some debris. Not breathing." He said in that simple tone of his as he continued to pump his chest to try to get the teen's heart going again. _

_ Aasim tugged at his hair, feeling his stress levels rising. "No, no, no… Louis, no." _

Louis couldn't be dead. He couldn't. 

Shit! Shit! Shit!

The older boy kept trying, his hands worked at Louis' chest hard enough that he could see his back arch against the ground. It wasn't until he tried _plugging Louis' nose and breathing into his mouth at the same time that his_ _work paid off._

_ Louis jerked back to life, spitting up water mixed with red all over himself, gasping for air.  _

_ "Oh, fuck… thank God!" Aasim uttered with relief, he knelt down and rubbed Louis' back as he rolled onto his side and continued to cough up more water mingled with more blood that he'd swallowed earlier. _

_ There was a deafening roar of timbers snapping and metal grating and they all looked up to see the boat tilting as it began to collapse. Clememtine and Aj were on the pier running and then water splashed everywhere and a fireball lit up the sky. _

* * *

_ James may have been mad at Clementine for letting AJ shoot Lilly, he may be stubborn, definitely stubborn, but he wasn't heartless.  _

_ When he had come back to his barn to find it in such a state, he had known something was terribly wrong.  _

_ Several walkers were in the surrounding forest, they were agitated but he drove them away. There were some walkers still trying to get into the barn on one side and after looking in through a clear window he'd realized very quickly why. _

_ Apparently, Clementine had gotten bit and to prevent her from turning, AJ cut off her leg. He'd tied it with a leather strip found in the barn but it would not be enough. They needed to get to the school.  _

_ First he drove off the walkers. Then confronted the two kids taking refuge in his barn. Clementine had been barely conscious and she'd lost a lot of blood much like her friend that he'd had to resuscitate from drowning in the river. The one who had his tongue severed.  _

_ He carried Clementine all the way to the school and agreed to stay for AJ. To make sure he didn't walk down Charlie's path.  _

_ That's what he kept telling himself.  _

_ For the first time in years, he had shed the skins he had worn as a Whisperer. It was strange, feeling the softness of animal fur -namely when he pet the Ericson's dog, Rosie- on his bare palms without the skin gloves he'd used to blend in.  _

_ James looked up as a shadow overcast him from where he sat on the steps. It was Violet and the young woman looked quite defeated. _

_ "Uh, Hello." He greeted awkwardly. _

_ "Hey." _

_ She took a seat beside him, fidgeting idly. _

_ "Is she okay? I heard screams." _

_ "Ruby is working on her now, she had to cauterize her leg. She's lost a lot of blood."  _

_ "I know."  _

_ Violet regarded him with guilt-ridden eyes. There was a long awkward pause until finally she broke the silence. "I have to thank you, we all do." _

_ He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "No. You don't." _

_ "Louis! Slow down you're going to hurt yourself!" Aasim's voice reached both of them. _

_ Not even moments later Louis was walking briskly through the gate, eyes wide, mouth slightly open as he huffed for breath. Aasim was trotting behind him and Aj trying to keep up. _

_ "Shit. They told him." The girl muttered. _

_ He had a feeling they been hoping to wait and tell Louis about Clementine's return until she was stable. _

_ James wasn't blind. He'd seen the looks Clementine had shared with him during that brief encounter. There was clearly something flourishing between the two. That was why he'd intervened and tried to bring him back from drowning, why he'd denied him his time.  _

_ The younger man snorted and tried to pick up his pace, there was sweat beading on his brow and he looked paler than when he'd seen him before. His jaw was slightly swollen and he looked like he was in terrible discomfort as he moved. _

_ Louis stopped in his stride for a moment to regard him, simply staring but mostly studying all the blood on his clothes. Clementine's blood, from her leg. He stared back nervously, but he did try to reassure him.  _

_ "She lost blood. She's with your medic now."  _

_ The boy swallowed anxiously and nodded turning to leave. _

_ "You should be looked at. You're developing a fever." _

_ That caught Violet's attention right away and she began to study him more closely.  _

_ "Oh Christ Louis! Your jaw!"  _

_ "I've been trying to get him to come back for two hours now!" Aasim snapped in frustration. _

* * *

_ Louis was not doing well. His fever was raging something fierce and Ruby was starting to feel that dread snaking into her stomach at the thought that he may not make it.  _

_ It was not even hours after James arrived carrying Clementine through their front gates that Louis showed up, feverish. Apparently he'd been out sulking at the cabin all morning and all afternoon. Mourning. They had thought they lost both Clem, Aj, and Tenn all in one day.  _

_ She had to wait to tend to him, but it wasn't hard to track him down. He refused to leave Clementine's room until he saw through that she was going to be okay, and he almost did, sitting anxiously on AJ's bed the whole time until he succumbed to his own fatigue.  _

_ He hadn't eaten the night before or anything since, the only thing he had tried was water and Ruby had a feeling, from what she was witnessing here, that he had stopped drinking as well. _

_ His mouth must be killing him. How were they going to do this? They'd need to get him to eat and drink. This sickening injury that had been inflicted upon him would change his life in far more ways than she initially realized.  _

_ She wished she had Ms. Martin here. She'd know what to do. _

_ "Lou, I need you to drink this. You're dehydrated." Ruby tried, tilting the fever-stricken teen's chin up to press the canteen to his lips.  _

_ He flinched and turned away with a protest, his arm weakly tried to raise to push her away but only managed to pathetically drape over his belly.  _

_ Gently, she took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, rubbing the back of his knuckles with her thumb. _

_ He squeezed her hand back and looked at her miserably, bloodshot eyes were glassy with tears. Sweat beaded down his dreads and his forehead.  _

_ "Please, I know it hurts your mouth, but you need to drink some water."  _

_ He finally relented. Gurgling out a weak sob his lip quivered as he opened his mouth, allowing her to pour a bit of cool water past his lips. He coughed and sputtered for a second, the shock of the unnatural feeling of his missing tongue’s support was still enough to make him forget how to figure anything out and the sting on the scabbing, and infected wounds was agonizing.  _

_ "What else can I do, Ruby?" Violet asked, her eyes were concerned as they both watched him pant for breath on his bed.  _

_ Ruby gnawed on the inside of her lip, an old nervous habit. "He's.. let's get his shirt off. See if that can help him cool down a bit… it's soaked through as it is. I'll find some extra blankets." _

_ Violet nodded and together they managed to get him sitting up.  _

_ "Here, Louis, arms up." Ruby instructed him softly. _

_ "Uhhgh… –eep… uuhh-ireg…" he whined trying to lay back down, eyes drooping.  _

_ Ruby furrowed her brow trying to understand what he was trying to communicate, this was so difficult. _

**_Those fucking monsters._ **

_ She shook her head, "You're burning up. I need to try to get your fever to go down and your shirt is soaked through. C'mon now." _

_ He went quiet and he raised his arms as high as he could so they could help him out of it. Ruby tossed it aside and reminded herself that they'd have to wash it for him later. His freckled chest was glistening with sweat and heaved for air as he panted.  _

_ "Vi, could you go to his room? Maybe he has a spare shirt."  _

_ The blonde-haired teen did as she asked and Ruby was relieved when she came back a while later with a dark gray long sleeve that- like most of their clothes- had seen better days. She could get to the laundry tomorrow.  _

_ She grabbed a rag out of the bucket of water she'd brought with her and pressed it to his neck, almost immediately he stilled tension leaving his shoulders as the cool water trickled over his fever flushed skin.  _

_ Ruby managed a small smile, "Yeah, I imagine that feels good. You're hotter than a stove."  _

_ The Louis from before would have had something quirky to say to that and it forced a sadness to swell in her chest that they couldn't hear his voice above a distressed moan.  _

_ It was awkward at first wiping the grime and sweat off the other teen but when it became evident that the coldness of the water was easing his discomfort and his mind away from the fever, Ruby had no problem doing it.  _

_ By the end his temperature had actually gone down a little bit and she was able to get him to lay back down.  _

_ "I think I should give him another dose of antibiotics." She voiced before beginning to dig through their first aid kit. _

_ "Is he going to be alright Ruby?" Violet asked.  _

_ Ruby pursed her lips, looking back at the bronze-skinned teen who was now staring past them through heavily lidded tired eyes as she prepared the syringe with the medicine.  _

_ "I'm not sure. If we can get his fever to break… he'll have a good chance."  _

_ Ruby was delicate not to spook the older teen as she slid the sterilized needle into his arm to administer the medicine. When she looked up at his face she noticed that blood was dribbling past his lips and she immediately became alarmed. _

_ "Louis. Lou, I need to look at it. You're bleeding."  _

_ A fear struck to his eyes but he was too tired to put up much of a fuss. _

_ When she shined the small flashlight into his mouth she gasped, her face going slightly pale at the sight of pulsing infection near the back of his throat where the stump of where his tongue used to be attached lay. She could now spot where darkening flayed edges had hardened and fallen off from necrosis, leaving small open wounds that were bleeding lightly.  _

_ Violet caught sight of the grueling look of the injury and had to turn away. _

_ Ms. Martin never taught her how to care for necrotic tissue. Did she just wait for it to fall off? Would it be more prone to sepsis? _

_ All she could do was keep trying.  _

_ "Louis…?" Clementine's voice sounded. She was eying his exhausted form on AJ's bed. _

_ Violet stepped forward to talk to her. "He's here, Clem. Just resting."  _

_ Clementine blinked tiredly and just like that she was out again.  _

* * *

_ When AJ came up to their room he was confused at first to Louis laying in his bed and Ruby in a chair next to Clem's as she checked on her leg. _

_ Poor Ruby looked exhausted.  _

_ The red-haired girl looked up and offered a tired smile. "Hey there AJ. I hope you don't mind, I'm moving Louis in here for a bit so I can keep an eye on his infection while I look after Clem." _

_ He took in the information then shrugged, "I can sleep on the floor." _

_ Ruby looked horrified for a moment before letting out a laugh. _

_ "Oh, AJ no. You'll sleep on the top bunk." She gestured to the spot above Clementine.  _

_ AJ blinked stupidly. "The bed roof?" _

_ Ruby let out a hearty laugh and a snort that had her blushing a light red and AJ grinning. Louis grumbled in his sleep and rolled over. _

_ "It's not a roof little guy. Here, haven't you ever wondered why it has a ladder?" She ran her palm over the ladder's metal finish. _

_ AJ was silent and Ruby offered a reassuring smile. "Climb up and try it out. I've already made the bed for you."  _

* * *

_ When Louis woke up in the middle of the night, it wasn't to the bad dreams he'd been having since he lost his tongue three nights ago. No, instead it was to soft breathing from across the room.  _

_ He opened his eyes and wiped the sweat from his brow, noticing immediately that he'd been stripped of his dark green shirt by the feeling of warm skin from his forearm against his forehead. _

_ Looking around he realized he was still in Clementine's room, the moonlight shone in through the partially boarded window casting some natural light into the room. He let his gaze fall to the girl on the bed across from him, sleeping peacefully. He could see the boy she treated as her own son sleeping on the top bunk. _

_ He felt so hot, he wished he could take a cold shower. He knew he should have gone to Ruby about the infection sooner, but he felt so humiliated by his injuries. His tongue was cut out. His communication severed. No more laughs or jokes or singing. He felt such shame even though deep down he knew he shouldn't.  _

_ Quietly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, being careful not to wake AJ. He rose to a stand and quietly padded over to Clementine's bedside to settle himself in the chair Ruby had been using earlier. _

_ She looked so peaceful as she slept. Her head was bandaged again from Minerva's beating and her leg was wrapped up comfortably. A hand was draped over her stomach and her head was tilted as she breathed softly. _

_ She was still beautiful. _

_ It was selfish of him, really, Clem needed her rest, he knew that, but he needed to see her beautiful eyes. He couldn't explain why.  _

_ Tentatively, he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips to place a delicate kiss over her knuckles, massaging the back of her hand with his thumb.  _

_ Compared to before, her reaction time to wake was considerably slower. She'd lost a lot of blood. If James hadn't found her and Aj when he did… _

**_Fuck._ **

_ Her eyes flit open and Louis felt those same butterflies return to his stomach staring into them. The moonlight reflected off of them causing the bright, golden amber to twinkle. He could see the sleepiness in them and immediately felt bad for waking her, but part of him was glad he did. He needed to know she was okay. _

_ She let out a tired hum as she let her eyes study her surroundings, finally they fell on him and Louis felt his throat well up with emotion and tears gathering in his eyes.  _

_ 'How are you feeling?' 'I'm so glad to see you.' 'I'm here.' … 'I love you.' Anything. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't, and it hurt. It hurt alot. _

_ He kissed her hand again and held it against his cheek. _

_ "Louis." She said, smiling weakly and giving his hand a squeeze.  _

_ Louis offered a strained smile in return a stray tear trickling down onto Clementine's hand still pressed against his cheek. _

_ "You should be resting. You're burning up." She whispered as to not wake Aj. _

_ He shook his head, sending his dreads bouncing about before gesturing toward her leg.  _

**_You scared me._ **

_ Clem looked down and seemed to understand what was the matter without his words.  _

_ "I got bit. Aj had to cut it off." She explained tiredly. _

_ He closed his eyes and nodded before kissing her hand again. His eyes were sad and pained and to Clem it was obvious he was hurting in more ways than one. _

_ She squeezed his hand in an attempt to console him, "I'm so sorry, Louis. For what happened to you. I wish… I wish I could have stopped them." _

_ He just nodded sadly trying to will himself not to cry at the mention of it.  _

_ "I'm just glad you're still here." She whispered, casting her gaze up to the ceiling.  _

_ Finally, he couldn't take it and he tried his best to speak.  _

_ "I-I… guh.." he paused, tempted to give up when he came to the l that he was no longer able to pronounce. He was going to give it a shot anyways. At first it came out as a burble and again, finally he realized he'd have to make do without it as she stared at him with a sympathetic express on her face, golden eyes sparkling in the reflection of the moonlight. "I… uhove… uo.." _

_ A teary smile came to her face and she struggled to prop herself up -despite his attempts to ease her back down- and kissed his fever flushed cheek.  _

_ "I love you too, Louis. We'll be okay."  _

_ He smiled and nodded. _

_ She lay back down and let out a small adorable yawn. He should let her get some sleep and deciding that'd be best, he gave her a kiss on the forehead before getting up from his chair. _

_ "Good night." She whispered. _

_ He looked over his shoulder and smiled before climbing back into bed. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: Edited 03/08/2021


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. You'll notice something mentioned here. Louis did not smash any walkers on the beach. Realistically with his state at the end of 403 I highly doubt he would suddenly just be okay enough to be killing walkers if he was as traumatized as he looked. So I wanted to delve into this darkness.

It was the following day that Clementine was determined to find something to help Louis heal. She had dragged Aj along to help her search through the old battered library. 

There had to be a book on sign language somewhere. 

"Um… what are we looking for again?" Aj asked, they'd been at this for hours to be honest.

"A book on sign language."

"Sign language?" The boy repeated, scrunching his nose in confusion. "What's that?"

Clementine pursed her lips for a moment, thinking how to explain that one. "Well… it's… a way that people who can't talk can learn to communicate with their hands." 

"Like flipping someone off?"

She huffed and shook her head, "No Aj, it's… more complicated than that. Anyways, I want to see if me and Louis can learn it."

"Clem, are you here?" Ruby's voice called from the next room.

"In the library, Ruby."

She heard the tap of Ruby's shoes on the floor as she came around the corner, but she didn't look up from her task of looking for the book she seeked. 

"Didn't I tell you to stay in bed?" The ginger-haired belle huffed.

Clementine pulled a book free and blew some dust off the cover immediately wishing she didn't as it clouded up in her face and she felt a sneeze coming on from where she balanced delicately on her crutches.

Ruby moved forward just in time as the sneeze about knocked her on her ass, easing her back upright.

"Thanks." She muttered, offering a shy smile.

"Mmhm. You need to let yourself get used to those before go up wanderin' all over the place."

"I'm looking for something for Louis." 

Ruby hummed softly in a knowing tone and Clementine eyed her suspiciously. 

"It wouldn't happen to be the two sign language books would it?"

Clementine didn't know why it flustered her, but she felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

"It was." She answered honestly.

Ruby let out a soft laugh before directing a genuine smile at her, "Oh shucks, don't get all red-faced. I've seen how you two had been lookin' at each other since before the attack."

Blushing, Clem looked at Aj who was watching with curious eyes and frowned, "Hey, why don't you go see if Willy needs any help with some traps?"

Aj rolled his eyes, "Sure." 

After Aj had left she turned her gaze back to Ruby. "You noticed?"

The older girl nodded and gestured to the side idly with one hand, "Then there was the carving on the piano."

Clementine winced, she supposed it couldn't get any more obvious than that.

"For what it's worth, I think you two are good for each other." Ruby directed a warm genuine smile to her and it made Clem's heart swell.

"He's…" she paused, not quite knowing how she could describe the boy she'd fallen so smitten with.

"Louis?" Ruby offered and Clementine laughed with a nod.

"I know what ya mean, boy's always had a sweetness to 'im underneath all that annoyin'." 

She went quiet, regretting her words now with Louis' delicate condition. 

"It's a change for you guys too, I can't imagine." Clementine sympathized 

Ruby nodded idly, her thoughts wandering to how Louis looked when she was able to stop the cart and check him over. 

* * *

_The cart's wheels and metal body creaked and groaned and the horse was spooked and hard to control due to the walkers and gunfire but once they were near the fishing shack she heard Violet calling out to her._

_"Ruby! Stop! We need to check on Louis."_

_She gently coaxed the horse to a stop and got down, taking a moment to soothe the large animal until she was sure it was calm and wouldn't run off. She helped Willy down as well since he had the torch light and they walked around._

_Aasim had already climbed out and was helping their friend from the cart, his eyes were unfocused, dead looking as he moved. Ruby gasped as the torchlight fully illuminated his face._

_Blood was trickling down his chin and neck, mingling with the water that still soaked his skin from their swim. He trembled as he held onto Aasim for support._

_"Oh my God. What happened?"_

_"They…" Aasim swallowed uncomfortably, "they cut out his tongue."_

_Her hands flew to her mouth as horror overwhelmed her. "Oh my God… Louis…"_

_"What the fuck!" Willy cried._

_The boy just blinked at her and sniffled miserably before his eyes bugged out for a moment and hunched over and vomited red all over his boots. Ruby jumped back and Violet stepped forward looking quite frantic, "He keeps throwing up blood."_

_She gnawed on her lip and nodded, "Well...blood is hard on the stomach. If he swallowed a lot of it and I suppose it could be running down his throat and without his…" she paused trying to pick her words carefully, "in his condition he can't stop all of it."_

_Omar looked at the blood mixed with drool dribbling down Louis' chin, concern etched in his eyes from where he sat in the cart still._

_"Is that why he keeps drooling?"_

_Ruby wasn't sure, but she could only assume so. Their friend's body wasn't yet used to such a change, plus the amount of pain he must be in._

_"That and the bleeding, probably."_

_Ruby noticed the blood that had pooled through the left side of his coat and stepped forward to look him over._

_"Louis?" She called to him softly._

_He ignored her, just stared straight ahead, far away from reality. She looked at Aasim. "What happened here?"_

_"James said he was caught on some debris before he grabbed him out of the water."_

_"Willy bring that torch closer so I can see." She told the younger boy who nervously stepped closer to give her some light._

_Ruby knelt down and pushed Louis' coat out of the way so she could grab the bottom of his torn green shirt. She looked up at him when his small trembles turned to full on shakes. "Louis, can I look?"_

_He didn't respond; he kept staring forward into the darkness of the water that licked at the shoreline._

_Though she was hesitant, she lifted the bottom of his shirt to reveal his side and immediately let out a soft sigh of relief at the sight of shallow gashes and punctures but mostly scrapes along his ribs. It was nothing serious. Just several wounds clustered together. They already stopped bleeding._

_She took both her friend's hands into hers giving them a little shake trying to get his attention._

_Nothing._

_Was he even aware of what was going on?_

_"How long has he been like this?"_

_Aasim looked at Omar uneasily, "Well, er.."_

_"Maybe since he woke up? After James did CPR on him? He almost drowned." The other boy suggested._

_Violet let out a huff, "I get it, I fucked up. You don't need to rub it in. It wasn't like I expected us to get separated."_

_Omar shook his head, "No one blames you, Vi. He wouldn't have jumped himself. If he had stayed there he would have been killed."_

* * *

"I couldn't believe the state of him when I saw him. He looked like a drowned rat from that swim. We were lucky James found him when he did. He had some punctures and scrapes from gettin' caught on some timbers with bits of sheet metal but they weren't serious. He was so out of it and the poor thing just shook like a leaf. Louis is… was a nervous talker and the same when he gets scared… seeing him like that, so broken… it just wasn't right. It isn't right."

Clementine remembered how difficult it had been for the others to get off that beach and to the carts with all those walkers, especially with Omar's leg and Louis in the state he was in.

James had offered to help them until he saw walkers being killed, then he had to leave. Then it was up to Violet to help Omar and Aasim to help Louis. 

Louis had been stuck in a trance like state and he had to be body pulled into cover and gently coaxed to move. 

Those assholes really messed him up. 

Clementine nodded and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, she offered a hopeful smile, weak as it was. 

"It isn't, but we'll help him get through this. We'll all get through this with him." 

Ruby's eyes misted a tad and she wiped at them before offering Clem a warm hug. "Thank you Clementine, we're lucky to have a friend like you."

* * *

He missed Marlon. Yeah, what he did was fucked up, on so many levels, but he always knew what to say to cheer him up. He was his best friend and he'd always been there for him during some of the really hard shit. He wondered what Marlon would say to him now. He wished he could know.

Louis tentatively set some wildflowers down on the grave where his best friend was buried. He was sure he was the only one who had paid respects to him in a long time… if at all. 

Violet sure as hell wouldn't. 

He looked over at Brody's grave and felt sick. Why had they buried them so close? He'd killed her. 

Marlon killed her. 

He scrubbed a hand over his face trying to hide tears of frustration. How could he miss a murderer? That wasn't the Marlon he knew though, he was better than that.

"Lou?"

Startling slightly, he turned to see Vi standing there, concern etching her features. 

He said nothing. Not like he could anyway, but he did offer a small acknowledging nod before looking back to his best friend's grave. 

"I don't completely hate him you know."

Louis frowned, he couldn't help but feel anger bubble up inside him at her words. 

If that was true, she could have been a lot nicer to him when he was truly mourning his loss, she could have said at least _something_ about him at his and Brody's funeral. 

"I was unfair to you when it came to losing him. I realized that after Clementine was attacked in the forest and you were shot. If that bullet was six inches over I would have been digging another grave."

He looked up with sad eyes, recalling the memory. 

"And then Clementine showed up with AJ, he'd been shot. He's just a little kid. Who shoots a little kid? I realized there that maybe Marlon had a right to be fucking scared."

_Maybe? No shit Vi, really? Look what they fucking did to me!_

Louis hesitated for a moment, fighting with his pride and his want to say something. Eventually, slowly he pulled out the notepad and a pencil from his coat pocket and flipped the page. Ignoring Violet's eyes as shame burned his chest and had to once again blink back tears of frustration. He _hated_ this. It was _humiliating._

_'Marlon made a mistake.'_

He shoved the notepad into her hands, a scowl on his face as that anger resurfaced.

Violet read his words with sad eyes,but he could see a residual anger within them as well. 

"Trading Sophie and Minnie was more than a mistake Louis. It was fucked up. They were our friends."

Glaring he snatched the notepad from her hands and scribbled angrily.

_'Don't talk about Minerva. She was no fucking friend when she helped them cut my tongue out and before you say I'm lying go ask Aasim what happened in that cell.'_

He knew he was the one being unfair. Violet and Minnie used to be together, but the thought of those heartless blue eyes staring at him as she pinned him down was too much, too painful. 

Offering the notepad back to Violet, she was hesitant to accept it this time. The anger must be evident on his face. He wanted to do nothing more than to scream at her for how wrong she was for still worshipping that heartless monster that Minnie became.

Violet let her eyes scan the paper and he could see she was fighting back tears. He felt guilty, but at the same time couldn't be bothered, he was so angry. 

Suddenly, he found arms looped around him.as Violet pulled him into a hug. He instinctively, albeit slowly and awkwardly returned the gesture.

"Lou. That's not what I meant at all. I'm not defending her. I fucking hate her for what she did. To you, to Tenn, to everyone… part of me will always love her but she got what she deserved."

His eyes misted slightly as he nodded, willing himself not to cry. He was so sick of crying. His eyes burned from how much he'd been crying lately. 

"All I meant was that he could have found another way. Talked to us. We could have left. I understand why he did it though."

Louis relaxed a little in her hold, that was something he could agree with. 

After a moment, she pulled away and looked at the flowers that he'd placed on Marlon's grave. "Is it too late for me to say something for him?" 

His eyes widened slightly at that and he pondered for a moment. Maybe it'd bring them both some peace, maybe if not him perhaps Violet herself. If it'd help her, who was he to stop her. 

He shook his head to give her the okay and she let out a relieved sigh, turning to look at the grave.

"Marlon. You could be a jerk at times, but overall you had a good heart. You tried to protect all of us as best you could, I'm sorry… that I didn't always believe that. It makes sense why you did what you did and I do forgive you for it, even if it was fucked up. You made a mistake… but you didn't deserve to die for it."

Her voice had hitched and she took a step back to join Louis' side, and he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. His eyes were sad but a warmth flooded his chest at Violet's speech. It meant alot more than he thought it would that she was finally willing to bury the hatchet.

He turned his head and placed a kiss to her temple, something he had done when he'd held her all those nights ago when Violet had been absolutely inconsolable over Minnie's disappearance.

That night had strengthened their friendship a great deal. 

**_Thank you._ **

Violet blushed and laughed softly and for the first time since his capture she saw him smile as he directed that goofy grin of his at her. 

"Better not let Clementine see that, she may get the wrong idea." She teased.

Louis' bronze-toned face lit up with a light red highlighting every single freckle on his face. His smile fell and he crinkled his nose like he always did in awkward situations or when he was nervous or uncomfortable. 

Violet blinked, not expecting such a strong reaction from her friend from the gentle tease, it was no secret he had a crush on Clementine. 

"Louis, I was just… wait are you two…??"

His blush deepened and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.


	4. Chapter 4

When Louis had decided to go spearfishing with Aasim he had a feeling it was going to be a bad day. He didn't know why he volunteered. They had expanded past the safe zone now of course with the threat of the Delta neutralized, so they had more fishing spots. 

One of the best spots they found was the same bank where  _ the boat _ had laid anchor. 

The sight of the river sent shivers up his spine and made his stomach do knots. After the wreck there were still things that would wash up ashore. Small things, some useful, some not. The river bed wasn't as deep in some places so even some guns washed ashore, totally destroyed and unsalvageable. 

Aasim didn't talk much, but then he never did, but after their capture and his mutilation he spoke to him less. He imagined he felt guilty. 

He shouldn't. It wasn't his fault. 

Louis adjusted his grip on the spear in his hand as he focused on the fish swimming around in the shallows of the creek that drained off into the river nearby. Aasim was trying his luck by the riverbank. 

There! 

_ Oh wow, you're a big one... _

The fish in question was, actually, quite large. As it swam up the other fish swam away, bubbles floated from its mouth to the surface and for a while Louis simply watched it swim happily in the cool water that he could occasionally feel splashing up past the top of his boots, watched it's scales glistening in the sunlight that peeked through the overhanging trees. They were pretty, the scales that is, they shimmered in odd silvers and blues sometimes even a glint of purple.

It didn't matter. 

With a breath he brought the spear down and nailed it right through the middle.

_ Cool! I still got it! _

The big fish flailed and splashed and Louis shoved the spear in further with a slick sound followed by a crunch until it stilled. 

As he pulled the monster of a catch out of the water with two hands he grinned at the weight it had to it. 

This thing would definitely feed at least four people in the group alone. 

Grin broadening as he laid it ashore, he picked up a rock and turned to Aasim, chucking it at the older teen. It hit him in the back of the head and he whirled around with a swear, "Louis! What the fuck!?"

He hefted the fish up on display and smiled.

Aasim's mouth dropped open in shock and he ran over to where he stood by the creek. 

"Holy shit! That thing's huge! You caught that over here?" 

Beaming brightly he nodded and Aasim scratched his head bafflIed.

"Well shit. I think we're good for the day then. I caught four already, they aren't as big," Louis rolled his eyes and Aasim continued, "but this'll last us a couple days even if the others don't have luck hunting."

Louis frowned, a little bummed out to call it a day after finally having some fun for the first time in a while. 

He pulled out his notepad and pencil and began to write.

_ 'I think we should stay out a little longer. See if we can catch a couple more at least.' _

He turned the notepad around to show Aasim who read silently and his eyebrows almost went up to his hairline.

Louis always  _ hated _ working.

Why did that change all the sudden?

"I mean… uh, sure. There's still room in my bucket anyways."

The younger teen nodded with a smile and meandered over to the sandbar where a few crows were, they made a fuss before flying off.

He could see some fish swimming in the shallows not even a foot from the bank and crept up quietly, Aasim did the same and they both waited patiently as they watched them go about their merry routine. They were gulping down small swimming things that were right by the bank from what Louis could tell.

Just as Louis was about to bring the spear down on one of the hungry fish, he stopped. 

What was that? 

There was something in the water. 

Aasim caught his and all the fish scuttled away in fright and so Louis let his curiosity get the better of him. 

He reached into the water to grab the small black object that was embedded in the silt, it felt like a grip of sorts and when he pulled it came up easily a blade shimmered in the sunlight and water dripped from it and his hand as he lifted it out of the water.

Immediately he felt very, very ill. 

It was a small, black knife with a curved serrated blade. The black grip had a red pinstripe going up each side. 

The blade tip was broken but he remembered the blade and his blood turned into ice, clogging up his veins and sending shivers through him.

_ Wait no… _

"Louis?" Aasim's voice vaguely reached his ears, as he stared at the knife in the palm of his hand.

He could feel tremors running through his body and his breathing pick up, finally he dropped the weapon with a gasp and it plopped back into the water with a small splash.

"Louis, dude you're shaking? What's the matter? Hey, look at me."

Images, feelings, and noises were suddenly pounding in his head. Blood, so much blood that glistened a deep crimson in the light, the blood that dripped off the blade and the rest down his chin and neck, the sensation of that cruel hand that held his mouth open for the knife's relentless assault as it sawed through flesh and muscle. Blood, too much to swallow, pooling in his mouth blocking his airways so he couldn't breathe… he couldn't breathe… wait… he still couldn't breathe… why couldn't he breathe!?

Feeling light headed and an unbearable tightness in his chest he wheezed and gasped, eyes widened in both horror and confusion as panic began to set in.

* * *

At first Aasim was at a loss as to what had happened. Louis had seemed just fine until he pulled something out of the water, he hadn't gotten a good look at it, but when Louis seemed to go into a fit of sorts he reached into the water to retrieve it himself.

No  _ fucking _ way.

Gritting his teeth, Aasim quickly pocketed the blade to be used for scrap later on. He turned back to Louis who had sunk to his knees with a hand over his chest, he was gasping for air and he had that same look he had in his eyes from when they finally got him out of that cell.

"Oh fuck." 

He knelt down and gripped Louis' shoulders. "Louis, hey! Hey, you need to breathe! It's okay." 

The younger teen stared, wide-eyed past him at water as he hyperventilated. 

"Uhhg.. guh..i-ife!" He wheezed in a panic.

"It's okay! It's gone. Louis, just breathe."

Panicked and not knowing what else to do, Aasim did something he never thought he'd see himself doing, especially to someone as annoying and frustrating as Louis. 

Heaving a sigh he wrapped his arms around the younger teen's trembling form to offer him some further comfort. 

Louis tensed at first but gradually his frantic gasps transformed into full-force body racking sobs that shook his entire body as his shoulders heaved. 

They were guttural noises, ones of deep suffering and sadness, it made Aasim's heart twist and turn and his stomach turn to knots. 

In between his fit, he could recognize burbled jumbles of noises that he realized were Louis' attempts to talk. The syllables were butchered and he couldn't understand them but something sounded like a distorted version of  _ I'm sorry _ without the s and some odd pronunciation of the r's. 

_ What was he apologizing for?  _

He'd address that later, right now he wanted him to calm before he drew the attention of any walkers. He still had his bow, but too many and they'd be in trouble.

It didn't take long for Louis to tire himself out though, but something was different, his eyes were far away and his jaw tense as he gnawed on the inside of his lip.

Oh shit, it was that dissociative stare again.

Ever since his recovery, they had found that Louis was prone to go into these weird spells that had him acting like a zombie himself. 

He would stare at something in silence for hours, ignore anything and everyone around him.

It was very much similar to the state he was in when he had to coax him from that damn cell and after his near drowning all the way to the cart to get off the beach. 

Ruby said it was a symptom of PTSD, which Aasim had absolutely no doubts that after having one's tongue forcefully cut out, someone would have. 

It could last minutes, hours, one time it lasted almost an entire day after he'd woken up from a nightmare. Usually, they were triggered by one of his emotional fits, but he hadn't had one of these for several days now. 

"Shit. Okay, okay… let's go." 

Carefully, Aasim gripped his forearms and hoisted him to his feet. 

* * *

  
"What happened?" She heard Willy's obnoxious voice at the gate.

"Nothing, just go tell Vi, we got some fish we need to pick up at the shack. I need to get him to Ruby."

_ Aasim? _

AJ was with her, right by her side in fact, Omar didn't go out today, so that left… 

_ Louis? _

Clementine hobbled her way toward the gate with AJ by her side watching curiously. 

Sure enough, Aasim was guiding a very out of it Louis back through the gate and into the courtyard. His eyes had that dead stare to them as Aasim helped him forward, it was obvious something occurred.

"Aasim, what happened?" She asked worriedly, inching forward on her crutches as Willy went running off to go get Ruby.

"Some debris washed up ashore… he uh… we found the knife that was fucking used to…" he explained in a hushed voice, not wanting to set the teen off again.

\--

Clementine turned the tool over in her hands, she didn't know why she asked Aasim for it, but she felt like she needed it. 

It was small, hardly more than a self-defense weapon, well it used to be before the tip snapped off. Not for the first time in her life she found herself thinking of the irony of small objects and the damage they can cause. Here, in her hand, something so small had absolutely shattered a spirit as big as Louis'. 

_ No, the hands behind it. _

That's right.

"Why would he get scared of it?" AJ's voice question suddenly reached her ears.

She looked up from the knife and put it in the desk drawer. 

AJ sat on the top bunk staring down at her innocently. Ever since he slept up there when Louis was in here with them to make less travel on Ruby, he'd not budged from it.

"It's just a knife." AJ continued.

"It is."

"So, why's he scared of it?"

How was she supposed to explain this one?

"Well… it reminds him of when he was being hurt, it brought up some bad memories of people hurting him." 

AJ looked down in thought, a sad frown found its way onto his face before he spoke again. "You mean when they were cutting his tongue off?"

Clem shivered, the words never sounded any less horrible. "Yes and Louis has a lot of trauma now." 

"I still wish we could get rid of trauma." The little boy mumbled.

He heart throbbed in her chest as she peered up at him with a weak smile, "Me too, Goofball, more than ever." 

"Will he always be like this?"

The words sent a fear of the unknown flooding into her veins and she had to take a breath to compose herself enough to answer.

"I don't know. He could be. He went through something awful that he's struggling to deal with because it's hard for him to communicate."

"Is that why you were looking for those books?"

Clementine nodded, "Yes, I think they'll help him."

The questions were dragging her down and Clem heaved a sigh as she gathered her crutches, situating them before standing.

"I'm going to go for some air. You'll be okay, won't you?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine, you don't gotta keep checking on me," he paused and looked at her with a worry in his eyes, "What if you get tired?" 

Clem laughed and shook her head, "Don't you worry about me. I'll be okay."

* * *

Ruby let out a tired sigh as she emerged from Louis' room. 

To say their friend was a mess was an understatement. 

She'd seen him have many breakdowns since returning to Erickson, seen him shed a lot of tears and witnessed him in a vulnerable state that she never thought she'd ever see from the cocky teen. These times where he'd disassociate were very difficult because she didn't know what she could do for him.

He still hadn't snapped out of it but he did manage to get him to lay down without much trouble. She sat with him for a good few hours trying to get some sort of response from him only to receive nothing for all her efforts. After a while she noticed that he appeared to have fallen asleep and so she finally decided to leave.

\--

Ms Martin had once told her that the reason why nurses still spoke to comatose patients before moving them is because it was still unknown whether or whether not they were completely aware of everything going on around them, touch, sounds, smells. 

Warning the patients of any future stimulation, changing bandages, shifting them into different positions, administering medication via IV, it was all to help reassure them and make sure they were comfortable. 

Ruby didn't know why she remembered this as she looked into Louis' void stare but she did. 

Sure the circumstances weren't the same, but what if talking helped? What if his awareness was more than it appeared. It could just be a defense mechanism she supposed. 

"We've known each other since before the beginnin' of this mess. Hell, if someone told me the dead would be walkin' before all of this, I think I would have laughed at them," she peered at him for any sort of response and tried not to be disappointed, "but knowin' you. You'd probably of encourage it and come up with some elaborate prank to scare the bajeezies out of everyone."

She couldn't help but relax a little herself. Even if the talking wouldn't help Louis, it was certainly helping her. 

A fond smile played upon her lips at the train of thought.

"Then you and Marlon would probably have an argument and patch things up within a day. You boys could never stay mad at each other. "

Ruby took one of Louis' hands in hers, stroking the back of his knuckles with her thumb soothingly. 

"Lou, you were put through somethin' horrible and I know that none of us can begin to understand what you're goin' through right now because of it."

Still nothing.

"I know you well enough to know that you're scared and-" Ruby trailed off when she felt him squeeze her hand slightly. She just took a moment to study his features as they remained the same. "and that's okay. You lost something important to you as an individual and that feeling… it's… probably very natural." 

Ruby was starting to get the feeling her words were more to reassure herself that the boy was going to pull through this just fine than convince him.

"You're hurtin' Louis… we see that and I promise we won't let anythin' happen. We'll get through this together and help you learn to adapt, we won't leave you to struggle by yourself." 

His hand began to shake in hers the slightest bit as it squeezed a Little harder but the impassive stare remained.

She offered a sad smile. At least she knew he could hear them when he was like this.

"It won't be easy and in fact its… going to be harder than it already has been, but just know that you always have friends you can count on Louis."

\--

"Ruby?"

"Oh my gosh!" She gasped, turning. 

The voice that had startled her from her thoughts was Clementine. 

"Jesus Clem." 

Clem shrugged awkwardly but her smile was apologetic, "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I… it's okay. Little more noise for a warning' would be nice next time."

The other girl chuckled, golden eyes twinkling, "Sure."

"I know why you're here Clem, but I just got him to fall asleep. He needs rest."

Clementine's smile fell, "How is he?"

The ginger-haired girl let out a tired sigh, "Awful. These fits of his are becoming more and more intense when they occur. He's scared mostly, about not knowing what's going to happen next. There are many things that set him off. Knives are an obvious one, loud noises, Aasim said he goes tense around the river the first couple hours being around it and that he prefers to fish at one of the creeks that lead into it instead."

Ruby supposed it was possible that Louis had developed a sense of fear of the river; both after his torture on that boat and his near drowning experience.

"He's putting on that weight he lost, slowly, and from what I could tell earlier the cuts in his mouth have finally healed over. No more sores. Frankly, I've been surprised he even let's me look at all after what Omar told me. If you ask my opinion, their  _ Doctor _ did nothing for him but poke and prod when he was in a hell of pain." 

The younger girl nodded idly but there was a deep look of concern in her golden amber eyes. 

"Will he recover from this? Mentally?"

Ruby gnawed on her lip, uncertainty was evident on her face and that was all the answer the other girl needed.

"Can I sit with him? I swear I won't wake him."

Though initially she hesitated, she really couldn't see the harm. She quietly opened the door and stepped aside.

"Sure, just be quiet. He doesn't sleep quite as deeply as he used to." She whispered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments, especially feedback, criticism always helps my motivation!! I love to hear people's opinions on where I should go next!!!
> 
> ~ Emily


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